Why do we not have any nacho-only restaurants?!
Here is the menu:
Standard, $5.99: Bed of tortilla chips (triangles, of course), seasoned beef, melted cheese blend, onions, tomatoes, fresh salsa, sour cream
Deluxe $6.99: Bed of tortilla chips (triangles, of course), seasoned beef, melted cheese blend, onions, tomatoes, jalapenos, black olives, fresh salsa, sour cream, guacamole
American $6.99: Bed of thick cut potato chips, ground beef, melted cheddar cheese, diced onion, dill relish, Heinz ketchup.
Poor $3.99: Bed of tortilla chips (round…round seems cheaper for some reason), refried beans, warm nacho pasteurized cheeze product, canned salsa
Fancy $11.99: Bed of pita chips, choice of diced steak or seasoned chicken, melted gruyere cheese, organic garden fresh salsa, sour cream, guacamole
Baseball has a language all its own. Lucky for you I’m here to translate.
He was out on the bunt attempt, but it was a good idea
That was a terrible idea.
Sure, he was thrown out by 15′ at the plate, but I would have sent him there too
What the fuck was he thinking?! I’ll fall on the sword for my guy’s crap decision.
I was trying to establish the inside part of the plate. It’s important to be able to pitch inside
That guy is a total asshole, I was trying smoke him. I’d just walk up and punch him in the face if I could get away with it.
He doesn’t have an over-powering fastball
This pitcher is a pussy
We need to get him going
Damn, he is really sucking ass right now.
This is a young team
This is a shitty team
He’s scuffling a bit right now
He couldn’t hit sand if he fell off a camel
We just have to come to the ball park ready to play
We’re exhausted. Is this shit over yet?
Confession time. I’m not really Phil Coke. Well, you knew that already didn’t you? Truthfully, I haven’t even been a Phil Coke parody for a long time, if ever. Sure, I’ve written from Phil’s perspective, but basically the twitter feed has been a character I’ve built, stupid jokes, and Phil Coke references. But you know all this already, so why am I talking about it?
First of all, It is time to be done with the parody. Sure, it is a fun idea, but about a week into it I decided it was silly to act like the rest of the player parodies. I decided that I would put my own spin on it and abandon strict adherence to Phil’s life and play.
Second, When I started this silly account I thought the world of Tigers baseball was so beyond me I really couldn’t touch it. However, over the last year it has opened up the opportunity to have a host of conversations. At first I could just write whatever I wanted knowing no one of any importance would ever see it or care. As it has grown some people have picked up on it. It has even gotten to the point where people are asking Phil Coke himself about it. That’s not fair to Phil. In order to ensure there is no confusion, I am dropping the guise. I have the utmost respect for Phil and never want to make him upset. I hope it is pretty clear that I think Phil is awesome.
Why is Phil awesome? Yes, he does take the game seriously but you get the sense that he does know IT IS A GAME and it looks like he is HAVING FUN. Baseball is an activity that brings joy to peoples’ lives. If following and/or writing about the Tigers doesn’t bring you joy, you are doing it wrong (unless it is your job, then it is completely fine to be miserable).
Third, I simply don’t have the discipline of someone like @oldhossradbourn who can faithfully hide behind the wall. I enjoy interacting with people and have even had the opportunity to meet some of you. I would like to do more of this in the future, but I can’t do this if I’m so tied to this guise. In fact, I was hoping to attend the blessyouboys.com meet-up before scheduling conflicts arose.
So as of today there is going to be a slight shift. I am no longer going to write and tweet from Phil’s perspective but from my own (well, kind of). I am still going to keep a low profile, but I’ll be a little more open about myself if you are interested (you aren’t). Don’t worry, I will still be the same old Phil Coke’s Brain and will always center on Detroit Tigers baseball and general merrymaking. I’m not going to change my blog name or my twitter handle, but I have changed the name on my Twitter account to Eric (since that’s my name). Think of PhilCokesBrain sort of like a really dorky CB handle. Shoot, if there is a guy that goes by “Christmas Ape” maybe I can still use PhilCokesBrain. Of course Coke will remain a focal point of the account and the blog, because that is awesome.
In the end this is really nothing new. I just hope I don’t wake up tomorrow and see I don’t have any followers left.
I had a lot of fun with this flow chart on BlessYouBoys. Long story short — I had inclued Torii Hunter in a previous edition and then moved things around. In the end I didn’t included him.
Here is my attempt to make amends.
The NCAA men’s basketball tournament brackets were released yesterday thus is time for my annual rite of spring: losing money in the office pool. This year I know even less about the teams, but the good news is that the field is more unpredictable than ever. So let’s just go by something I actually know a little about. Behold, the Detroit Tigers bracket! Hey, it can’t possibly be worse than picking teams by mascots or uniform colors or by who Digger Phelps likes.
The world is a complex place full of all types of people, cultures, and languages. It can be tough to sort it all out! I find it especially troublesome to learn how to pronounce new words and unique names. It is a good thing we live in 2013 and have the Internet unlike our parents who just banged rocks with sticks and pooped in holes in the ground. We can simply stroll over the YouTube and take a look. Let’s do that together, shall we?
First off is the somewhat helpful PronunciationBook. There you can find a host of different words helpfully pronounced.
However, I often find PronunciationGuide to be more accurate and helpful. Check it out.
Up until this very moment, however, some of the more difficult names of your Detroit Tigers were still a mystery. Lucky for you the ol’ Brain is here to clear it up for you.
There! Now you are fully prepared to talk to your friends and fellow Tigers fans about your favorite players!
How about a couple of bonus pronunciations