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September 11, 2012

Jim Leyland has said over and over he doesn’t need to fire his team up with a big Rah Rah speech. If he does, then it is apparent his team isn’t as good as he thinks. Here are Brain Matters, however, we do not oppose Rah Rah speeches. If we were to unleash one, this is how it would go:

Men. Friends. We have come a long way this season. We’ve played 140 games together. We’ve won more than we have lost, but we are not in a position to make the playoffs and our backs are now truly up against the wall. Let us not let this season’s effort go to waste. The miles of travel and the playing through pain shall not be in vain. We have 22 games left to make our mark, and make it we shall. We have some flaws but those flaws will not prevent us from leaving an impression on this season. We shall not falter, we shall not fall if we all do our jobs and do them well.

Avisail, this is not fair, you are young and not ready for this, but we need you to rise up. You have the speed and defense this team desperately lacks. You have a special challenge but you are up to the task. You are going to to start versus every lefty starter and we need you to drive the ball, run the bases hard, and play good defense.

Delmon, it’s been an up and down year for you but now is the time to get your shit together. Focus on one pitch you want to hit and let some shit go. You need to be the hitter you know you can be. Don’t be so damn bitter and angry. The world is not out to shit on you. Finish your time with this team with pride. Find your pitch and fucking blast it.

Andy, this is not new to you. You were a hero in the Dominican Republic and you are going to do the same thing here. You will deliver big hits, you will throw runners out at the plate, and you will have women with cinnamon colored skin throw their panties at you once again!

Justin, you are going to be fine. Prepare the way you always do, and lead us with confidence. You didn’t get to be the MVP by being weak and you will not be weak now. Be the stud for this team and we will rally behind you.

Miguel, we are asking more of you than any player on this team. To whom much is given much is expected and we are expecting a lot. Not because we have singled you out to pick on you but because we know that you are capable. Fight through the pain, focus on each at bat and each pitch. You are an amazing athlete and we need you to be the best hitter in baseball, we need it and you can do it.

Prince, you need to be the leader of this team. Yes, you are relatively new and you are a quiet, unassuming guy but you are already leading with your actions. Continue to hustle out every ground ball and focus on every pitch and we will follow you. Encourage, teach, and befriend where ever you can. We need your steady nerve and stalwart approach now more than ever.

Doug, grind it out my friend. Throw each pitch with purpose. Play amazing defense. You know what it takes and you will perform.

Omar, you are the heart of this defense. You have range, you have skills. You will show our pitchers every night that you have their back.

Brayan, your stuff is as good as anyone’s in baseball. Trust your stuff. Plan each pitch and execute. Once the ball leaves your hand there is nothing you can do about it. Have a short memory and envision your success on each pitch.

Alex, do what you do best. Get on base. Work the pitcher. Show your strength with your discipline at the plate and with your swing.

Max, inspire us. Be nasty. Your time has come. It is your time to dominate.

Austin, you lead off the game for us and you lead us in the field. You will catch ever damn baseball hit within a mile of you.

Brennen, work hard in the cage, be ready. We’ll need big hits from you but it will not be without struggle. It will click for you but you need to bust your ass to make it happen NOW.

Jose, get fired up my friend. Amp it up and dance you crazy man you!

Lloyd, Toby. We need more offense, that is all there is too it. Sure, we can bunt and we can hit and run some but that bullshit doesn’t get us very far. This team needs to mash and you need to figure out a way to help them do it.

And I promise you this: I will not berate you, I will not call you out in public, and you will always be my friends; but I will not let you get away without you giving me 22 more games of your full devotion. I will make bold decisions and I will stand behind you but I need you to stand behind me. To quote our comrade Victor Martinez, “Give me everything tonight, for we might not see tomorrow.” If we come up short it will not be because of my passiveness. BECAUSE IF I SEE ONE BIT OF LAZYNESS MY FOOT WILL BE SO FAR UP YOUR ASS KEVIN WON’T BE ABLE TO GET IT OUT WITH THE FUCKING JAWS OF LIFE. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, PLAY HARD. I WILL NOT STAND BY, I WILL NOT GO GENTLY, AND NEITHER WILL YOU. WE WILL DESTROY THE FUCKING WHITE SOX AND WE WILL WIN SOME FUCKING GAMES.


2 Comments leave one →
  1. September 11, 2012 3:49 pm

    Bravo. Got one of these for the fans?

  2. @wardb4 permalink
    September 12, 2012 12:51 pm

    I got goosebumps during the foot in the ass portion…Bravo X2

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