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Excuses, Excuses.

August 30, 2012

Any respectable, manly, and downright handsome ball player is never going to make excuses for his poor performance. Now it’s true, struggles do appear from time to time as journalist Chris Iott has outlined.  That’s not to say there aren’t reasons. I would never come out and just say what’s going on, that kind of excuse making is weak, but it doesn’t keep me from thinking it.

  • How am I supposed to pitch effectively with Jose yapping in my ear for 7 straight innings? It is exhausting. The guy could talk paint off a wall. I only understand every third word, it’s almost as bad as listening to Ryan.
  • Have you seen Darin Downs hair. It’s so billowy. How can I focus with such lovely bouncing locks in my face?
  • You know, Mike Moustakas is pretty damn good.
  • Mike Moustakas just got really lucky, it could happen to anyone.
  • “The catcher you put here with me — he told me where to throw the pitch, and I pitched it.”
  • Once you watch a woman give birth things are really never the same again.
  • I think I ate too much BBQ the night before. Sour stomach and all. Won’t happen again.  I was squatting on the toilet all night like Delmon’s batting stance.
  • Lynn Henning has psychologically conditioned this team to anticipate and accept failure.
  • The hotel sheets were only like 100 thread count, max.
  • Skip puts way too much pressure on us.
  • Skip has the clubhouse way too loose.
  • YOU TRY THROWING A BASEBALL 93 MILES PER HOUR LEFT HANDED AND SEE HOW YOU DO, YOU WORTHLESS INGRATES! Sorry, that was uncalled for.
  • Kauffman stadium is so quiet it’s like a round of golf or a tennis match.  Those sports are for snobby rich people.  I can’t thrive under those conditions.
  • It’s all part of a vast anti-ginger conspiracy.
  • I had a copy of my fantasy football cheat sheet in front of the Mike Moustakas’ scouting report I was pretending to read.
  • ALIENS!
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