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March 11, 2012

If Sid the Science Kid has taught us anything (beside limiting your sphere of friends to 3) it’s that it is important to observe.  So behold, a smattering of unconnected Tigers observations.

Hey there's Gerald! Let me show you how I groove!

Chris Iott, Tigers beat reporter for MLive, has a pretty relaxed sales pitch. He asked his followers to “like”  MLive/Tigers on Facebook, but always qualifies it with “if you want to.” This propted Matthew Mowery to create the #ChrisIottHardSell hash tag. A Chris Iott marriage proposal is, “Honey, I love you, will you marry me? I mean, you don’t have to.  I’m just saying if it’s cool with you and their aren’t any other cooler guys”. My feelings on this approach? Meh, whatever.

Lynn Henning has dropped his weight watch a little which is rather disappointing. I’m eager for Prince to be thrown out on a ground ball at first for this whole meme to get fired up again.  Lynn has wisely adopted the practice of ignoring me, but I have to give some love to @darth_icarus for trolling Lynn into the following brilliant retweet.


The Tigers have a ton of punch this spring.  Powerhouses like Eric Patterson and Danny Worth are crushing the ball. Joking aside there are many home runs to be had in the Boesch, Cabrera, Fielder, Young, stretch. Even Ilitch can get wood thinking about it.

Is it just me or are the non-roster invitees terrific this spring? Patterson, Bootcheck, Head, and Berry have all performed well.  Yes, I understand that these guys are not going to carry the freight for the Tigers this year. But it is a fun diversion to see these guy step in and play well.

The consensus picks for the Tigers most likely to improve are Brennen Boesch and Rick Porcello. Popular picks for regression are Alex Avila and Doug Fister. My pick to improve: Delmon Young.  Most likely to regress? I hate to say this, but Valverde.  He had too many lucky plays last year to keep his save streak alive.

Ryan Raburn is sick of slow starts and is showing this spring training who’s the boss. As Kurt Mensching of Bless You Boys is fond of saying – There is nothing written that says Raburn has to be terrible the first half.  Sure, there is nothing written that says Zumaya has to be injured either.  It’s just after you’ve been bitten so many times you learn. Raburn’s track record is that he simply doesn’t hit the first half of the year.  I’m not a stats nerd, but trust me, I’m not making this up. But Kurt is right, nothing says he can’t be great the first half except that he never has. The thought of second half Raburn all year long is enticing, is it not?

Brad Penny had sex with one of these people.

The NCAA tournament will appropriately get a lot of attention in the weeks to come.  One thing to keep an eye on is the trend of prominently placing assholes in commercials.  The 1 seeds in the all-asshole bracket are: Geno Auriemma, Michael Imperioli, Charlie Sheen, and Pitbull.

The Tigers have finished with two straight ties. Wow, ties are so exciting! I guess I get why the world likes soccer so much.

I’ve written a total of one serious article on this blog.  It was fun to see it linked to from our friends at Garret Craig ( in addition to recently growing his first chest hair) wrote an article about 3 spring training surprises which included Chris Bootcheck.  To follow up on that story, you may not know Chris’ dad Daniel was drafted by the Tigers in 1966 and played seven years in the minors. The junoir Bootcheck, after seeing photos of himself in the Tigers home whites, remarked, “My dad will probably be speechless.”

Water is wet, Justin Verlander will start opening day, and Rogo picks on Don Kelly. All is right with the world. Rogo doesn’t like spring training and spring training news. He probably doesn’t like puppies or trees or boobs either, so whatever.

Samara does a nice tribute after learning that Carlos Guillen is retiring. Everyone feels like he’ll be a manager some day.  In actuality Carlos has been managing for years. He’s pretended to translate Leyland, but just told Spanish speaking player whatever the hell he wanted.

Skip says, 'stop sucking'

Tigers beat writers get bored and slappy during rain delays.

My favorite follow on twitter lately is Craig Calcaterra.  Probably because he has some of the same penchant for digression as I do.  Hardball Talk has become a daily check. He’s also super dreamy according a certain female blogger close to the situation.

Also, I think I have my own parody twitter account. This is as meta as a braketologist making a bracket of other bracktologist’s best brackets. I’m not exactly sure how I feel about this.  I confess I wonder who the heck it is, and realized that turn about is fair play (and a bitch).  The internet is a weird place, man.

Still a viable defensive replacement for Delmon.

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