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March 5, 2012

“We’ve only played 3 spring training games so you shouldn’t draw any larger conclusions based on what we’ve done so far.” That’s complete BULLSHIT!  You can figure out a heck of a lot from what we’ve done so far, such as:

1. The shift to 3rd base has rendered Miguel Cabrera completely unable to hit.  Evidently his hitting skills were contained in his tummy. Now what?!

2. Prince Fielder was tragically repressed by playing in Milwaukee and will slug 1.500.  To be fair, once you’ve seen that it’s really Bud Selig inside that Bennie the Brewer outfit you’d feel wierd about flushing him down into that bucket like turd with a mustache.

3. We’ll throw 54 one hitters and score 1296 runs.

4. Quintin Berry will make the team, Ramon Santiago will not.

5. Brandon Inge will hit .333 causing MLive collapse under the weight of commenter bloviation.

6. Miguel Cabrera will have a fielding percentage of .500

7. Leyland will use 270 different designated hitters.

8. We’ll set new record for consecutive wins at 162 games.

9. Ryan Raburn will hit 108 home runs and drive in 324.

Well, perhaps we should play a few more games first. Julio Teheran sure thinks we should.



One Comment leave one →
  1. March 5, 2012 10:44 pm


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