First of all, It is time to be done with the parody. Sure, it is a fun idea, but about a week into it I decided it was silly to act like the rest of the player parodies. I decided that I would put my own spin on it and abandon strict adherence to Phil’s life and play.

Second, When I started this silly account I thought the world of Tigers baseball was so beyond me I really couldn’t touch it. However, over the last year it has opened up the opportunity to have a host of conversations. At first I could just write whatever I wanted knowing no one of any importance would ever see it or care. As it has grown some people have picked up on it. It has even gotten to the point where people are asking Phil Coke himself about it.  That’s not fair to Phil. In order to  ensure there is no confusion, I am dropping the guise. I have the utmost respect for Phil and never want to make him upset.   I hope it is pretty clear that I think Phil is awesome.

Why is Phil awesome? Yes, he does take the game seriously but you get the sense that he does know IT IS A GAME and it looks like he is HAVING FUN. Baseball is an activity that brings joy to peoples’ lives. If following and/or writing about the Tigers doesn’t bring you joy, you are doing it wrong (unless it is your job, then it is completely fine to be miserable).

Third, I simply don’t have the discipline of someone like @oldhossradbourn who can faithfully hide behind the wall. I enjoy interacting with people and have even had the opportunity to meet some of you. I would like to do more of this in the future, but I can’t do this if I’m so tied to this guise. In fact, I was hoping to attend the blessyouboys.com meet-up before scheduling conflicts arose.

So as of today there is going to be a slight shift. I am no longer going to write and tweet from Phil’s perspective but from my own (well, kind of). I am still going to keep a low profile, but I’ll be a little more open about myself if you are interested (you aren’t). Don’t worry, I will still be the same old Phil Coke’s Brain and will always center on Detroit Tigers baseball and general merrymaking. I’m not going to change my blog name or my twitter handle, but I have changed the name on my Twitter account to Eric (since that’s my name). Think of PhilCokesBrain sort of like a really dorky CB handle. Shoot, if there is a guy that goes by “Christmas Ape” maybe I can still use PhilCokesBrain. Of course Coke will remain a focal point of the account and the blog, because that is awesome.

In the end this is really nothing new. I just hope I don’t wake up tomorrow and see I don’t have any followers left.

Out!
PhilCokesBrain

Here is my attempt to make amends.

Exciting news! I am going to be posting some stuff over at BlessYouBoys.com.  You should read my first BYB post HERE. I mean, you don’t have to. Do what you want.

Here is a rundown of my posts there.

I will still post things here from time to time.

Yay!

ROUND ONE (No, we aren’t dealing with that play-in round bullpoo)

Midwest

(1) Louisville (29-5)
(16) NC A&T (19-16)/Liberty (15-20)

Ever heard of a Louisville Slugger? Duh. Cardinals advance.

(8) Colorado State (25-8)
(9) Missouri (23-10)

Max Scherzer is a Missouri alum. No brainer.

(5) Oklahoma State (24-8)
(12) Oregon (26-8)

Andy Oliver and Robbie Weinhardt both went to OSU. So, OSU then? Sure, I suppose.

(4) Saint Louis (27-6)
(13) New Mexico State (24-10)

After 2006 any Tigers bracket may not have a team from Saint Louis. New Mexico State wins.

(6) Memphis (30-4)
(11) Mid Tenn (28-5)/St. Mary’s (27-6)

The Tigers hold an Elvis night at Comerica every year. Memphis moves on.

(3) Michigan State (25-8)
(14) Valparaiso (26-7)

The Tigers play in the state of Michigan and Michigan State plays in the state of Michigan. Michigan State wins.

(7) Creighton (27-7)
(10) Cincinnati (22-11)

Creighton’s mascot is the Blue Jays.We can’t have that.  Plus Lance “Bull” Durham, Tigers minor leaguer and son of Leon “Bull” Durham, went to Cincinnati. Bearcats advance.

(2) Duke (27-5)
(15) Albany (24-10)

Ryan Jackson was a first basemen who went to Duke and played for the Tigers in 2001 and 2002. As a Tiger he hit .218. Ok, not impressive but good enough to move past freakin’ Albany.

West 

(1) Gonzaga (31-2)
(16) Southern University (23-9)

“On September 14, 1910, Dave Skeels became the first Gonzaga player to appear in the major leagues when he pitched in a game for the Detroit Tigers.” Thanks Wikipedia, good enough for me.

(8) Pittsburgh (24-8)
(9) Wichita State (26-8)

Andy Dirks played for Wichita State. Despite our coaching staff’s previous links to the Steel City, Just A Ballplayer muscles the Shockers past Pitt.

(5) Wisconsin (23-11)
(12) Ole Miss (26-8)

Zach Kirksey, Tigers prospect, is a an Ole Miss alum. Good enough? Sure.

(4) Kansas State (27-7)
(13) Boise St. (21-10)/La Salle (21-9)

Kansas State alum Elden Auker, legendary submarine-style pitcher for the  Tigers, once struck out Babe Ruth. Good enough for me. KSU moves on.

(6) Arizona (25-7)
(11) Belmont (26-6)

Daniel Schlereth and Ryan Perry came out of the University of Arizona. Belmont advances by default.

(3) New Mexico (29-5)
(14) Harvard (19-9)

Harvard people are smart. Thinking only hurts the team. New Mexico wins.

(7) Notre Dame (25-9)
(10) Iowa State (22-11)

Mike Myers, a submarine pitcher who played for the Tigers between 1995 and 1997, went to Iowa State. However Notre Dame produced Aileen Villarreal who is a Tigers media relations staff member and curator of the @TigresdeDetroit twitter account. Tie breaker? The ND head football coach shares a last name with Donnie Kelly. The Irish advance.

(2) Ohio State (26-7)
(15) Iona (20-13)

Ohio State doesn’t have many friends in Michigan. To add to the disdain the school produced current Indian Nick Swisher. But can Iona really knock off the BigTen tournament champs?  Get this… Don Kelly’s sister Ashlee was a standout basketball player in college. After spending three years as head women’s basketball coach at Mercy College, she was named assistant coach at, you guessed it, Iona College. UPSET TIME!!! Iona advances from the power of the Kelly family.

 >

South

(1) Kansas (29-5)
(16) Western Kentucky (20-15)

Western Kentucky is the alma mater of Wade Gaynor, a Tigers prospect who got a (one) at bat this spring. However any state that housed the birth of Andy Dirks gets to move past the first round. Kansas moves on.

(8) North Carolina (24-10)
(9) Villanova (20-13)

Luke Putkonen is a Tar Heel. Villanova has no chance.

(5) Virginia Commonwealth (26-8)
(12) Akron (26-6)

Brandon Inge is an iconic Tiger and a VCU grad. Even Inge haters have to admit VCU is the more Tigers pick. Rams in a no doubter.

(4) Michigan (26-7)
(13) South Dakota State (25-9)

If Michigan only produced Bill Freehan, former Tigers All-Star and Golden Glove catcher, that wouldn’t be enough. The fact that our bullpen catcher Jeff Kunkel is a Wolverine makes this a no brainer.

(6) UCLA (25-9)
(11) Minnesota (20-12)

UCLA gave us Jackie Robinson. Minnesota gave us the Twins. Bruins win.

(3) Florida (26-7)
(14) Northwestern State (23-8)

Tigers make their spring home in Florida and play in the Grapefruit League. This saves me a google search. Gators win.

(7) San Diego State (22-10)
(10) Oklahoma (20-11)

Even though Tigers prospects Jamie Johnson and Jordan John are Sooners, Mr. Quintin Berry comes from San Diego State. Quintin and the Aztecs steal this one in a tight battle.

(2) Georgetown (25-6)
(15) Florida Gulf Coast (24-10)

George Kell was terrific with the bat and the mic. Georgetown advances.

East

(1) Indiana (27-6)
(16) LIU Bkn (20-13)/JMU (20-14)

Steve Carter, Tigers assistant athletic trainer, is a Hoosier. Good enough for me.

(8) NC State (24-10)
(9) Temple (23-9)

Bobby Higginson went to Temple. Rogo would kill me if they didn’t advance.

(5) UNLV (25-9)
(12) California (20-11)

UNLV produced Cecil Fielder who produced Prince Fielder.  Cal produced Brennen Boesch. Cal is released from the tournament.

(4) Syracuse (26-9)
(13) Montana (25-6)

Orange is one of our colors. Montana isn’t exactly a baseball hotbed. Syracuse moves on.

(6) Butler (26-8)
(11) Bucknell (28-5)

Billy Butler is a pain in our ass. Thomas A. Thompson, a member of the Bucknell Sports Hall of Fame, pitched for the Tigers. The Bisons advance in an upset.

(3) Marquette (23-8)
(14) Davidson (26-7)

Kurt Mensching’s dog Donner lives in Marquette. That’s enough to power them past Davidson who no longer owns the Pistons anyway.

(7) Illinois (22-12)
(10) Colorado (21-11)

Gene Lamont, Casey Crosby, and Curtis Granderson were born in Illinois. Does that overcome the shame of the state being the home of the White Sox? I suppose because the Buffaloes have nothing going for them. Illini advance.

(2) Miami (FL) (27-6)
(15) Pacific (22-12)

I’m sure Nick Castellanos has his hometown team and school of choice (if he hadn’t signed with the Tigers) penciled to get past Pacific. We will pencil them in too.

ROUND TWO

Midwest

(1) Louisville vs (8) Missouri

Did you know that Shannon Hogan is also a Missouri alum? The Tigers belt Louisville and advance.

(5) Oklahoma State vs (13) New Mexico State

Rod Allen Jr. played at Oklahoma State for a while. I see ya, little fella! Cowboys move on.

(6) Memphis vs (3) Michigan State

Kirk Gibson played for MSU. This might be enough to advance a couple more rounds.

(10) Cincinnati vs (2) Duke

Duke Sims is the Tigers co-recordholder for the most triples in a league championship series (1).

West

(1) Gonzaga vs (9) Wichita State

Did we establish that Andy Dirks is a Shocker? Wichita makes Gonzaga their bitchita and moves on.

(12) Ole Miss vs (4) Kansas State

Tigers director of scouting David Chadd played for K-State. So did Tigers prospect Jason King. They beat up the Tigers’ Ole Miss minor leaguers Zach Kirksey and Matt Crouse to advance.

(11) Belmont vs (3) New Mexico

Guys, The University of New Mexico is located in Albuquerque, New Mexico. AlAl powers the Lobos and kisses Blemont goodbye.

(7) Notre Dame vs (15) Iona

Matt Tuiasosopo, who is fighting for a Tigers roster spot, has a cousin named Ronaiah Tuiasosopo who is a big Notre Dame football fan. Moral of the story: choose better cousins. Notre Dame advances because catfishing stories are entertaining and provide good fuel for making jokes on Twitter.

Pro tip: Don’t have crappy cousins.

South

(1) Kansas vs (8) North Carolina

Scott Dywer is the hitting coach for the Tigers’ class A affiliate, the West Michigan Whitecaps. Dwyer’s coaching career began as an assistant coach for two seasons at the University of Kansas. LuPu is only able to get the Tar Heels through one round. Kansas moves on.

(5) Virginia Commonwealth vs (4) Michigan

Wow, Inge vs Michigan. Inge plays for the Pirates now and Ann Arbor is just up the road. Wolverines win.

(6) UCLA vs (3) Florida

Tigers minor leaguer Hudson Randall is a Gator. Tigers have no personnel from UCLA. Gators move on.

(7) San Diego State vs (2) Georgetown

Can sprintin’ Quintin get them another win? When hitting legend Tony Gwinn was his coach, yeah, he can. Aztecs win in an upset.

East

(1) Indiana vs (8) Temple

Tigers hitting coach Lloyd McClendon was born and raised in Indiana. Bobby Higginson helped the team lose 119 games. Sorry Rogo, Hoosiers move on.

(5) UNLV vs (4) Syracuse

The Syracuse Chiefs used to be the Tigers AAA affiliate. Yay history! Orangemen win.

(11) Bucknell vs. (3) Marquette

Did I mention Donner is from Marquette? Bucknell goes down like a house of cards.

(7) Illinois vs (2) Miami

Castellanos is good for two wins, right? Right. Hurricanes advance.

SWEET SIXTEEN

Midwest

Missouri vs. Oklahoma St.

Did you know that Missouri’s mascot is the Tigers!? Paws finds some carnal attraction and the Tigers advance!

Michigan State vs Duke

Duke is already on shaky ground.  Plus, minor leaguers Jeff Holm and Jonathan Roof as well as Tigers VP of Park Operations Michael Healy are Spartans. They advance.

West

Wichita St. vs KSU

The battle of Kansas. Which school did Andy Dirks choose? Shocker power! Wichita State moves ahead.

New Mexico vs Notre Dame

Alburqueque’s pitches make a south bend and the city is spelled differently than our boy Al’s last name. Also, Torii Hunter’s son is going to become a Fighting Irish.  Notre Dame moves on in a close one!

South

Kansas vs Michigan

Remember when Bo Schembechler was the Tigers president and got rid of Earnie Harwell? It comes back to bite the Wolverines in the ass. Kansas moves on.

San Diego State vs. Florida

Florida exploits Quintin’s long swing and San Diego State doesn’t make the Elite Eight team. Also, Gators are stalking the Florida residence of the Detroit News Tigers media team.  It must be a sign.

East

Indiana vs. Syracuse

Umm..Tigers Director of Broadcasting Molly Betensley went to Syracuse? You know, the orange just seems more Tigery than the Hoosier red. Syracuse wins.

Marquette vs. Miami

Wait, what’s that you say? Marquette isn’t actually in Marquette, Michigan but it’s in Wisconsin? That’s stupid, they lose.

Elite Eight

Missouri vs Michigan State

Who would get the better of a Kirk Gibson vs Max Scherzer battle? I don’t know, but more people reading this post are going to be Spartan fans and I’m going for cheap bonus points. TOUCHDOWN MSU! *in Blaha voice*

Wichita St vs. Notre Dame

Have you seen his Brahma bull neck? St. Patrick’s Day is OVER. ANDY DIRKS AND THE SHOCKERS WIN!

Kansas vs Florida

Kansas is blue and white. Florida is blue and orange. Advantage Florida.

Syracuse vs Miami

Miami was the source of Anibal Sanchez, Miguel Cabrera, and Omar Infante. Miami wins. (The Hurricanes might have more W’s this year than the Marlins)

Final Four

Wichita State vs. Michigan State

I love Andy Dirks, but Kirk Gibson was a true Tigers great and MSU just seems like a more “Tigers team”. Spartans win.

Florida vs. Miami

Wait a second, wasn’t that Biogenesis outfit connected somehow with the University of Miami? Oh, and Miami alum and Tigers’ minor leaguer Cesar Carrillo was just suspended 100 games. Sorry Hurricanes, you lose.

Championship game

Florida vs Michigan State

Michigan State produced Chris Vannini who once worked with JASON BECK. MSU in a blow out! (but only because Xavier isn’t in the tournament)

Plus, he looks a little like Mr. Tumnus the fawn.

Inge identifies the real boss.

First off is the somewhat helpful PronunciationBook.  There you can find a host of different words helpfully pronounced.

However, I often find PronunciationGuide to be more accurate and helpful.  Check it out.

Up until this very moment, however, some of the more difficult names of your Detroit Tigers were still a mystery. Lucky for you the ol’ Brain is here to clear it up for you.

There! Now you are fully prepared to talk to your friends and fellow Tigers fans about your favorite players!

_________________________________________________________________

How about a couple of bonus pronunciations

One week ago I met Phil Coke.

Chris Iott, Tigers beat writer for Mlive and one of my favorite tweeters, set up the meeting and wrote a terrific story about it.  The story lays out how everything happened, but I thought I would throw a few more or things from my perspective.

The first indication that my little enterprise had gotten back to Phil was about half way through the 2011 season. A tweeter, who’s name I’ve long forgotten, said he asked Phil about it and the response was not positive.   The tweet wasn’t real clear and I brushed it off along with a couple of others the remainder of the season.

There was a game that year where I walked past the parking garage and I saw Phil’s vehicle stopped as he was signing some autographs. I thought, “I’m going to do it, I’m going to go up to Phil and say something about this.” As I walked across the street I began to process. What am I going to do? Am I going to just walk up to him and be like, “Hey Phil! I’m your brain!”  One of two things could happen. One, he and the people around him will have no idea what I’m talking about and I’ll look like a complete tool. Or two, he’ll know exactly what I’m talking about and be pissed about it. Neither outcome seemed very good so I slinked back across the street and went home.

During Spring Training 2012 things got real. I heard through back channels that Phil was asked about the account in the clubhouse, and then, sure enough, Tom Gage published THIS. My first response was to laugh out loud. My second response was, “Oh no, this isn’t real good.” You see, when I started this I figured everything with the Tigers was out of my reach. I figured no one would pay any attention.  Well, now someone was.

This takes us to the playoffs last year when Chris floated the idea of setting up a meeting.  I also started to get the impression that Phil was asked about the account more that a couple of times.

My bride and I planned our trip, we flew to Florida, and the appointment was set. Honestly, this sounds weak, but didn’t sleep real well the night before. I rehearsed in my mind what I was going to say, what he might say, and what I might ask him.

I walked around the fence and the guy wearing a Tigers polo and a radio gave me a nod instead of chewing me out for entering restricted territory. Phil walked up with his always distinctive strut and asked, “So, do you have something to tell me?”.

“uh…I am…Phil Coke’s Brain on the internet”

Phil gave a grunt and a nodded with a sinister smile and raised eyebrows. After some additional introductions and moments of awkwardness we had a bit of a conversation.

There wasn’t a lot of back and forth because, honestly, I had my tail tucked between my legs most of the time. This is his turf and his meeting and I am…well, just a guy who pretends to be him on the internet.

To say it is hard to get a bead on Phil is an understatement. I do believe he is legitimately annoyed. If not with my shenanigans directly then certainly with the questions he gets asked. People do really think it is him. We both agreed these people are stupid.  Phil said, “I have people in camp asking me if it’s me. ‘How do you do it? How do you do it during the middle of the game? How do you do it when you’re in the bullpen? Where do you have your phone?’ What do you think I have a wire coming out of my ass?!”

I told him I am sorry, and I really am. I will have to do even a better job of reminding people that I am not really Phil Coke. If you do see him, don’t mention it. I don’t mean this to be a problem for anyone.

On the other hand there were things that he seemed pretty mad about that I think he played up. For instance, he heard I tweeted a picture of him licking a window and seemed peeved. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about. He said, “Yeah, there were a bunch of us riding on a bus and I was licking the window”.  That’s when I remembered…it was this picture by Samara:

I smiled and told him I remembered the picture. I let him know that  I didn’t make it but I did share it.  I braced to be chewed out.  That’s when he said his wife saw it and she thought it was hilarious.

I got trolled by Phil Coke.

Seems fair.

Yes, Phil Coke is hilarious.  What you see in interviews is a lot of what you get. You aren’t quite sure where things are going. Most of that comes naturally but I think some of it is calculated and enhanced. Phil told us that his wife says no one can keep up with him, and I could tell there was more than a hint of pride in the statement. I think his wife might be right and he should be proud. No one can keep up with him.

I told him that if he were to get on Twitter he’d have a 100,000 followers in a week or two. He demurred and said he’s not into that stuff. But felt I owed the Internet the duty to ask.

So, even after two years of following a guy and pretending to be his brain I can say with more confidence than ever: there is only one Phil Coke and it is The Phil Coke.

Photo courtesy of myself.

Joker Marchant stadium is perfect for the Detroit Tigers.

If Disney’s Wide World of Sports complex was over-polished and over-produced, Joker is real and earthy. If Disney has staging, Joker has utility and natural grace. Beyond the centerfield fence stands a scaffolding holding two television cameras that I’m not sure would pass even a Guatemalan safety inspection. Nothing like that would fly at “Champions” Stadium.

The employees at Joker are retired northern transplants who are friendly and walk around with a garage bag eager to pick up your trash and exchange a few words. The Braves had young college aged employees with their names and hometowns prominently and precisely placed on uniform name tags. I waited 30 minutes in line at Disney so some young woman (being coached by an older male trainer) could speak into her countryman microphone to me through a mechanical speaker box. She then had to feed my ticket request through a computer and then run my credit card through another, yet more fancy computer. At Joker there are many efficient lines where you are pre-coached on what tickets are available and how much they are. The coach is the same man who later came around to gather garbage on the berm. When I got to the counter there was a friendly older woman who knew exactly what she was doing. And the only tags she had were a couple of skin tags on her neck, symbols of a woman who was experienced and proficient.

Even the air at Joker is different. They have these smokers that billow out rich hickory smoke laced with turkey drumstick fat drippings. It was a smoke more like campfire than the what emanates from the restaurant style griddles at Comerica. It smells like an outdoor ballpark should.

Joker has this little wiffle ball field in a corner that is a little worn at the edges. Worn because it has received good use. Kids feel like they can toss a ball around with out the danger of being scolded by some employee.

Even the fans are a little rough around the edges. The whole game this guy is running his mouth. He’s telling pitchers what to throw. He’s yelling to the batters about what pitch to expect. Peralta gets thrown out and he bellows, “JHONNY, YOU CAN’T BE THAT SLOW!” A complete nut because it is clear that Jhonny can indeed be that slow. He’s got his glove and he’s smacking it. I’m about ready to find a new place to sit. Up comes Cabrera and he starts yelling, “HIT IT HERE MIGGY! I’M READY TO CATCH IT! RIGHT TO ME NOW MIGGY!” I roll my eyes, this guy has lost it. We are deep centerfield with more than fifty people around us. Get over it.

Smack! Here it comes. A little scrum breaks out.

“I TOLD YOU I WAS READY!”

I guess the real nut was me for denying the power of spring training.

The Joker Marchant “skyline” features views of beautiful Lake Parker, but also the sight of the CD McIntosh Jr. power plant across the lake. The plant is a heirloom of industry in an increasing eco-centric world. It almost harkens back to the Motor City itself.

A friend recently told me that Lakeland is “Real Florda” with the winked assumption that it is rather unsavory. I’ll take it. I’m glad the Tigers have too.

• How can Central Florida support this many gift shops? It’s like getting a 4 year sneak preview of a white trash yard sale.
• Disney is a machine. I seriously don’t understand the crush of people on this place. Downtown Disney was a circus. I stepped on no less than 14 small children. I’m not even apologetic.
• I’ve seen probably 38 Hoverounds because ‘Murica! Do Europeans even have little scooters? Probably not because they have to actually go up and down steps.
• Disney has employees everywhere. Where do they find all these people!? There was a parking attendant for every two cars. The parking was free though, so bravo. ($7 at Joker, blah)
• “Champions” Park at the Wide World of Sports complex was very nice. But, being Disney, we had to wait in line a half our for a ticket. I’m surprised you didn’t have to pay to go faster to do the thing you are paying to do. Disney is not very scalper friendly. A “security” person had to shoo away an old man and gave him a very stern talking to, “buying or selling tickets is AGAINST THE LAW!”
• Apparently state laws require all buildings be painted a pale yellow color.

• The inside of the stadium looked like an old theater lobby. Very quaint if you are into that type of thing.
• The crowd was super quiet and there were no “fan propts” (read: annoying bullshit sounds they pump in) so that was a nice thing.
• “Champions” Field was the most intimate place I’ve seen a ballgame. Great views.
• It was nice to see Dan Dickerson back to work.

• A foul ball went straight back and bounced up off the lip in front of the open air press box. As it happened it was right in front of Jason Beck. I falsely reported yesterday that he “should have caught it”. He certainly could have caught it but chose to let it go for the betterment of mankind or something.

As for the game itself

• Victor has something that needs no recovery time: a very sound approach at the plate. He’s a disciplined hitter and he will come back just fine.
• As reported Jhonny does look slim. He ranged far to his right on two plays.  One he got the out and on the other he made it very close.
• Tyler Collins and Jeff Kolbernus hit back to back triples in almost the same spot in deep rightcenter field. It is true that Kolbernus can run. Despite a little stumble from second to third on his triple, he knows how to run. He wasn’t walking or anything, he ran.
• All our pitchers cruised through aside from Alverez. It is early in the spring and the old truism about pitchers being ahead of hitters holds.
• FYI, you can never have on enough sunscreen

Other stuff

• A Braves fan sitting next to Mrs. Brain asked her if the “Kiss Cam” were to focus on her which way she would turn for a smooch. Mrs. Brain was having none of it. Good luck with that one, dude.
• It’s amazing how loud one drunk fan can be. There was a dude trying to get the “Tomahawk Chop” going with no success. Several of you tweeted that you could hear it on the radio. Beer, what CAN’T it do!
• No sighting of the offensive screaming Indian spring training cap. Smart for the Braves, sad for me because I wanted to rip them.
• Boy, Deadmau5 is really popular in Orlando, his logo is EVERYWHERE.

More from Joker later tonight! Probably (I’m lazy)

This posting happened to come across the desk of the Brain and I thought I’d share.

At times, Real Style will reach out to our talent to help us find someone specific for an opportunity. This email defines a great opportunity. Please read and share with your family and friends who might have an interest in s hostess position for Tiger baseball games.

I consider all of you my family and friends (but only the females)

Real Style is looking for a 2 women for on-air positions for the Detroit Tigers Home Games.
Please read carefully through the following email and please, send an email to
tigers{at}realstyleonline.com

By “on-air” I assume they mean on the jumbotron. If your face is going to be 50′ tall I suppose it is wise to skip the zits.

with your name, cell phone, age and photo if you are truly interested and available.  As you select a photo, please consider that a client will look at the photo and determine whether or not they will bring you in for an interview.

As you select a photo, please consider being hot

 In other words, include a professional or professional looking photo.

In other words, be hot.

Position Description:  The TIger’s Organization is looking for 2 women to host home baseball games.

TIger’s

The  2 hostesses would alternate appearing on air for all home games. The hostesses would talk to fans, contest winners, and special guests at the games.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR FREE HOT DOG?! *SUPER BIG WHITE SMILE!!*

Qualities:  Hostess will need to be confident and have a strong on air presence. You will need to interact with fans so an outgoing personality is a must. A knowledge of baseball is definitely a plus!

Translation, but a photogenic flirt and if you know how many outs there are in an inning that is a bonus.

Dates needed:  The baseball season begins at the beginning of April and ends at the end of September.  Post season play can go until mid October.

Where is the confidence!? How about WILL go until the END of October.

Rate:  Hostesses will be paid per game.

(In Bath and Body Works gift cards)

Interview process:
1.  If you are interested or know someone who is interested, please send an email to
tigers{at}realstyleonline.com.  We are looking or serious candidates who can make themselves available throughout the spring, summer, and early fall.

This is the second time now, you have to be SERIOUS!

2.  The client will review photographs of interested candidates.  The client will select those candidates that he would like to interview for the position.

BE HOT! IS THIS UNCLEAR!?!

3. Interviews will take place at Real Style in Clawson MI.  Interviews to take place 2/26 and 2/28.

Wear something hot

4. Once the interview process has been completed, the client will select those that they would like to bring in to video tape.

You know, I’m just going to skip over any obvious jokes here. Where’s Rogo when you need him?

5. Video tape interviews will be presented to Tiger management who will select the Tiger’s hostesses.

I’d love to see Mr. I looking these over.

This is an amazing opportunity for those who are interested in broadcasting.  The Tiger’s are an extremely relevant team in the baseball world, with  millions of fans watching each game.  This is the type of opportunity that can launch someone into the world of broadcasting.

Tiger’s are an extremely relevant team in the baseball world.

Please feel free to share this with individuals who you think would be interested and meet the criteria.

That’s you all, right? (except if you have a twig and berries or can’t talk like Manti Te’o's girlfriend)

Please follow the directions included.  Emails are sent to

tigers{at}realstyleonline.com

There you have it! I hope you get the job!

http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/29049100

I hope to do it again soon so you can participate live!

Yay?