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Breakin’ the law, breakin’ the law

March 29, 2012

Craig Calcaterra at NBC’s Hardball Talk has broken down the new MLB social media policy. He says, “The policy itself is more of a legal document, but it basically consists of a list of ten prohibitions.” Being a brain, I  can get away with a lot, but let’s sample some tweets to see how I’ve well I’ve done abiding by the policy.

Players can’t make what can be construed as official club or league statements without permission

Hum, not so good here.  I break news all the time such as:

Tigers shut down Johnny Damon talk due to “dead arm”

The Twins have officially released former Tiger Joel Zumaya back into the wild.

Miguel Cabrera has also been cleared to resume mental, social, and spiritual activity.” - Still no word about sexual activity. I’ll see what I can find out.

MLB simply will not tolerate racial insensitivity unless it is in the form of racing meat products.

Players can’t use copyrighted team logos and stuff without permission or tweet confidential or private information about teams or players, their families, etc.;

Let’s see:

Did you hear Craig Monroe bought new tires? Yeah, they were steal belted.

Rod Allen is getting himself ready for the season by making comments about people getting coffee at Starbucks.

Mafia snitch eager to start his new life as David Pauley.

The D is probably copyrighted huh?

Players can’t link to any MLB website or platform from social media without permission;

Does Becks’ blog count? I totally didn’t ask first. oops

No tweets condoning or appearing to condone the use of substances on the MLB banned drug list (which is everything but booze, right?);

 Not too bad here, I leave this to @TrippingOlney

No ripping umpires or questioning their integrity;

Jeez, Joe sure knows how to put the cunt in Country Joe West. – oops

No racial, sexist, homophobic, anti-religious, etc. etc. content;

I agree that it’s really important that MLB do more to add female fans, we’re almost out of sandwiches.

Rex Ryan was eager to land Tebow and learn more about “washing each others feet”.

It’s nice to see Lin and Tebow take this “Where two or three are gathered in my name” thing seriously.”

Does making fun of BYU count? “I bet BYU always wants abandon the zone to play moreman defense” “BYU looks like they are on a mission!”

How about little people? Jamey Carroll looks like Wee-man on MTV’s Jackass.

No harassment or threats of violence;

Does this count? I like my coffee like I like my woman…Ground-up and in my freezer

How about: There is a big vortex of suck in Michigan right now. But enough about Bill Simonson, look out for that tornado.

Nothing sexually explicit;

Explicit? I don’t know, judge for yourself.

Just a reminder ladies, Don Kelly can handle any position. Happy Valentines Day!

New game: Find the dirtiest sounding thing that doesn’t have an Urban Dictionary entry. “Musty Kumquat”

I don’t get what Adele means by “Rolling in the Deep.” Maybe it’s because I’ve never made love to a large woman, who knows.

When it comes to sex you want a girl who is a Gus Johnson, not a Joe Buck.

Nothing otherwise illegal.

I got the last one perfect!

So, overall how did I do at abiding by the policy?

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