Tigers REJECTED scoreboard player puns.

The ESPN mobile headline writer is almost certainly out of a job. He’s got experience in sports writing and would certainly work cheap. Perhaps the Tigers should take a chance on him and let him take over the scoreboard duties. Here’s the kind of things we might expect.

We get three strike outs in a row? – Hooray for the KKK!

Error at third? – WHAT THE MIGHELL WERE YOU THINKING!?

Second baseman taken out with a slide? – Inge-ury Timeout!!!

Prince hits a home run? – EAT IT CECIL!!

Peralta home run? – Jhonny Jhacks it!

Runner thrown out at second? – Alex A-baby cow meat-a!!!

Changing who plays Third? – Inge assumes the position!

Ramon makes an error? – Ramon SATANago

Austin makes an error? – I’M SORRY MISS JACKSON, OOOOOO

Brennen long ball? – Holy BoscHIT!

Ryan with an outfield assist? SKIN GRAFT TIME, THERE’S A RaBURN VICTIM!

Home run? – BALListic missile!!

Thomas gets a extra base hit? – CLETE-oral Stimulation!!

David Pauley pitching well? – GO PLAYER!!

Need some general cheering? – TIME FOR A HOLLAR-CAUST!

MAKE SOME NOISE DAMMIT!

YELL YOU PUSSIES!

Lamont gets a runner thrown out at home? – It’s a GENE-o-cide!

Tune in later where we explore the BEST of the worst. Feel free to submit your choices to @philcokesbrain